Totally Worth It, Dude! Schoolstuck AU
by QuantumDae
Summary: John has just started his first day of high school with Dave. After meeting a whole host of very odd, interesting people (including a truent, a gambler, an artist, an introvert, a blind girl, an otaku, a pansexual, etc.) romantic drama ensues, sadstuck, and ALL of the ships. Smut later on, language warnings, you get it :o) There will be much smut. And more fluff. ALL THE FEELS.
1. EB: my science teacher is rather combly

**A/N Not my first, but I deleted the previous Hetalia fics I had since I grew bored of them and just... yeah xD Sorry if you enjoyed them or would have enjoyed them. I have very little plans for this story set in stone, so if there's something you want to see, let me know ;D**

Gamtav, JohnDave, JohnVriska, RoseMary, DaveKat?, Daverezi, SolKar, EriSol, DirkJake, JaneRoxy, so many ships. All of them. All of the ships.

Beta and Alpha kids included as well~!

~Summary~

John has just started his first day of high school with Dave. After meeting a whole host of very odd, interesting people (including a truent, a gambler, an artist, an introvert, a blind girl, an otaku, a pansexual, a genius, a metalhead, a hopeless romantic, a beach girl, and possibly a vampire?) he is suddenly overwhelmed by every romantic issue known to mankind among his new friends. Tragedy, parties, various smut in later chapters ;D, and every pairing ever.

**Thank you~!**

"Calm down there Egbert, it's not like we're going to prison."

Dave, sitting next to me on the bus, played Temple Run on his mobile as if nothing were happening.

"What makes you think I'm nervous? Have a little faith," I responded, trying to smile casually.

"I can feel you shaking through the seat, bro."

Damnit. I looked out the window, watching the bare trees zoom by.

"It's just high school. I'm not _that_ nervous." Of course I was that nervous! I fiddled idly with the bookbag in my lap while I tried desperately not to think about the first day of my freshmen year. Dave just shrugged knowingly beside me, hardly throwing me a comforting glance through his concealing shades that he wore over his face like a mask.

I wasn't new to Washington State, but I had just transferred from homeschool on the insistence of Nanna to get out and be more social. I met Dave years ago in preschool, and since then we have been nearly inseparable. He was one of the only other kids I talked to for most of my life. Nanna told me time and time again that I should get out more, go to parties like a normal teenager and possibly meet a nice girl. Instead, I preferred to hide behind the monitor of my laptop (which was safely stashed in my bookbag), talking to a plethora of online friends I had made over my years of solitude.

The bus rumbled to a stop with a hiss. Taking a deep breath, I climbed out of the bus after Dave and headed for the large, overwhelming building in front of me. I silently prayed Dave wouldn't go off on his own. Immediately after having this thought, Dave veered to the left to engage a smiling girl in conversation. With nothing to do until the morning bell rang, I stood outside the doors with them, trying to keep my distance from every other person filing noisily off their buses.

"Sup TZ," Dave said to her.

"Hello Dave!" TZ responded, chuckling. Her voice was raspy and gave me the impression that she was a rather loud and cantankerous girl. She was wearing red-lensed glasses that refused to show her eyes, a bit like Dave. I hadn't even noticed her cane until she suddenly whipped it up and pointed it vehemently at me, grinning.

"Who's this with you, Dave?" She asked. She was taking in deep breaths through her nose. "He smells like old lady."

"This is John," Dave introduced, pushing TZ's cane down. "He's new to the school system. John, this is Terezi."

"John's a weird name," Terezi pointed out.

"Terezi's a weird name," I responded, smiling. But seriously, what kind of name is that? She must have a middle-eastern parent - _terezi_ is from the Persian word for balance.

"My name rocks," Terezi declared. "It's nice to meet you, John."

"Same to you," I replied, feeling rather awkward. Should I look her in the eye? Is it rude to just stare at a blind girl's eyes? Does it matter since they're blind?

A few minutes later, the bell rang and students hanging out near the benches filed inside. Dave and Terezi parted ways as soon they entered the building.

"Follow me, we have first period together," Dave said, walking briskly in front of me. Adjusting the shoulder strap of my bookbag, I hustled along behind him, bumping into people and apologizing profusely until we reached the science room.

"Everyone quiet down while I take attendance please," said the teacher at the front of the room, scribbling _Mrs. Serket_ on the whiteboard. She looked awfully young to be teaching. Her hair was mid-length and black and she wore white-rimmed glasses. Sitting back down at her desk, she smoothed out the ruffles in her blue dress. "John Egbert, please put your book bag on the shelf at the back."

I nearly flew out of my skin when she called me out. "Oh, uh, sorry." I stood, feeling my face flare up, and put my book bag at the back of the class. "Sorry about that," I added for good measure.

"Excuse me young man," Mrs. Serket now targeted Dave, who sat stoically in his chair. He didn't even look up at her. "You can't wear glasses in the building, Dave." She checked her roster, jotting down a little note on the side. "It's disrespectful to me and distracting to the class, so please remove them or I will have to send you to the office on referral –"

Dave swiftly pulled a piece of notebook paper from his pocket, slapping it onto the desk. Taken aback, Mrs. Serket rose from her chair and picked it up, reading over its contents. A few kids next to me began to whisper to each other.

"There he goes with the shades again."

"What a prick. They look so stupid."

Mrs. Serket shook her head at Dave. "I'm going to need more than this note from your parents, Dave, I can't just excuse you. I do hope you understand dear, but there aren't files on record here that show you really have albinism. I'll check again, but I'll need a doctor's note or –" She was once again cut off as Dave removed his glasses and glared up at Mrs. Serket. A muscle in his jaw jumped and his eyebrows furrowed.

"Oh my – I'm terribly sorry, I was so inconsiderate." Mrs. Serket attempted to regain her composure as she apologized, walking slowly back to her seat. Dave replaced his shades and resumed his calm demeanor.

"Red-eyed freak," the kid next to me remarked quietly. I finally turned to him, fists clenched.

"Keep your mouth shut about him." He stared back at me, sniffed, then turned away.

Mrs. Serket rambled on for the better part of an hour, supposedly covering the assertive discipline plan for her science class, but ended up talking about her childhood instead. The class zoned out, I sat and doodled.

Lunch was after American history, Spanish, and English. I hesitantly shuffled into the large lunchroom with my sandwiches I had packed the night before, looking for an empty table to hide at. Terezi occupied the only viable option, leaning her cane against the edge of the table. I approached her, nervously glancing around me for Dave.

_Maybe she won't even know I'm here if I don't make any noise. Egbert that is so mean, she is blind for Pete's sake. Who even does that? Who sneaks up on blind girls? _

"Hey there Johnny boy."

_Damnit. I am so busted._

"Hi Terezi…," I replied. I can't believe I nearly forgot her name. After a few minutes of idle chatter, we were joined by two other girls carrying trays of food. One was tall and lanky, sporting long golden hair. I stared at her for way too long before I noticed the other girl, grinning widely through her short, neglected hair. She was talking animatedly as the two sat down beside Terezi, who greeted them.

"Hi TZ, how are you? How is the training coming?"

"Hey there Pet. You mean with the seeing-eye dog? It's going okay, but I swear I don't need one. I can get around just fine!"

"Pet" glanced at me questioningly. I noticed a large cat meme on her shirt. "Hi, who are you? Are you one of TZ's _fur_iends?" She flashed another wide grin at her pun. The blonde next to her scoffed.

"Huh, yeah, my name's John," I replied, trying to keep my voice above a whisper.

"That's a weird name," said the blonde girl, smirking. "For around here at least. My name's Vriska and this is Nepeta."

"This is a very culturally diverse area," Terezi added. "I can't even keep shit straight, who's from where."

"That's interesting," I said sincerely. I felt suddenly very generic and boring, so I decided to say something interesting myself. "I just come from a long line of amazing pranksters."

"Ooooh, reaaally?" Terezi exclaimed, leaning forward with most mischievous grin I've never seen before.

"I bet we can cook up some good ones for the pricks in this madhouse, you and me!" Vriska said, laughing loudly.

The rest of the went smoother after lunch, with me feeling better after having made friends on the first day. I actually talked to other real-life people other than Dave! Nevermind the fact that I was basically surrounded by cackling girls, that wasn't so bad, right? Most guys would kill for that. I ended up even giving Vriska, Nepeta, and Terezi my chumhandle so that we could pester each other that night. The return trip home found Dave and me goofing off on the bus; flicking paper wads, writing on the window, and kicking the seat in front.

After skipping supper that night, I pulled up Pesterchum to wait for my newfound friends to login.

ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

EB: dave!

EB: …

EB: daaaaaaaave.

TG: egbert

EB: you online?

TG: … obviously you dipshit

EB: oh yeah hehe. Guess what, im such a social butterfly!

TG: i heard about your bitchin people skills today

TG: so hey bro is hosting a party this weekend you down

EB: hehe dave i think we both know thats not gonna happen.

TG: i think we both know it totally will

EB: alright strider what kind of shenanigans are you planning this time?

TG: just come and youll see it will be the bitches tits i promise

EB: i have no choice but to believe you, strider!

TG: because you are showing

EB: well see…

TG: see you there saturday dont let me down egbert

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB]

**Comments, criticism, and flames welcome and appreciated~!**

**`Q-Dae**


	2. AT: uGH, i HATE MYSELF, aND EVERYONE,,,

arachnidsGrip [AG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB]

AG: Iiiiiiiit's Johnny!

EB: hey vriska! how are you?

AG: Gr8. You lame still?

EB: hehe yeah still pretty lame i guess. cant even go to parties because im so lame.

AG: Who said parties?

AG: Enlighten me on the parties, John.

EB: striders hosting one this saturday

AG: Why the hell didn't he invite meeeeeeee?

AG: Striders cant throw parties unless there is at least one Serket involved.

EB: serket?

AG: Oh yeah 8y the way your science teacher is my older sister.

EB: that just got a little weirder

AG: Sorry John Egderp.

AG: You kindof remind me of that suuuuuuuuper introverted Latino kid he is so awkwaaaaaaaard.

AG: You know Tavros what's-his-face?

EB: oh yeah hes in my algebra class hes nice

EB: i am SO not about to start gossiping stop it serket!

AG: Hahahahahahahaha hey I gotta dip out, see you around tomorrow :::;D

EB: aw man ok then

AG: Gotta d8 at the casino.

AG: l8r boy! 3

arachnidsGrip [AG] stopped pestering ectoBiologist [EB]

I eased my laptop closed, admiring the pictures of the Ghostbusters I had on the top of it. Sighing, I seriously contemplated that party Saturday night – it's not like it'd be one of those rough, crazy, people-passed-out-on-the-counter parties, right? Besides, I had more friends. It wouldn't be so—

"Jo-ohn! It's bedtime sweety!"

"Okay, Nanna!" I flung my Transformers-printed curtains closed and slipped off my shirt, having no intention of going to bed.

Slipping under my ghost blanket, I pulled my Gameboy out from under the pillow and switched Pokémon on. _I bet nobody even still has these amazing things_.

Before the first bell rang the next day as I was walking to Mrs. Serket's room with Dave, I encountered some sort of social gathering blocking up the door. Two guys along with Vriska were chatting about some vague topic I didn't catch.

"Hey, it's the Johnny boy!" Vriska called to me, slapping my back. "Ghostbusters shirt? Dude, you are so lame. It's great."

"Ghostbusters is so not lame!" I retorted. Dave snickered behind me.

"Bro, what a shitty show."

"Shades boy is right," Vriska said, smartly adjusting her wide glasses. One of the guys, a very muscular fella with shoulder-length hair, looked at me with a strange expression that I couldn't read.

"It's nice to meet you, my name is Equius Zahhak," he said in a sickeningly polite tone. His muscles under the wife beater he wore rippled when he extended a hand to me. "You are a friend of Miss Serket's?"

"Uh, yeah," I replied, not looking him in the eye. I weakly shook his hand, feeling his fingers grip very strongly around mine. "I'm uh, John. Egbert." Equius nodded curtly and smiled, somehow making him look casual and polite simultaneously.

"I need to head to the weight room, I'll see you guys later," he called as he began to walk away, waving.

"By Schwarzenegger!" Vriska called after him. "Oh, John, this is Eridan, he's another cool dude I know." She gestured to the remaining guy, drastically different from Equius in basically every way. He had light hair spiked up in the back, accented with a bright purple streak. Thick glasses hung loosely on his face, which bore a slight frown.

"He's a prick," Dave whispered to me. I shot him a look then nodded politely at Eridan, who waved lethargically.

"Hello," he said. I caught a slight accent in his voice, but I couldn't really place it. "You may have seen me at the art studio. I work there most days." I had never seen this guy before in my life, but I politely acknowledged the statement and commented on his clothes – I was trying to heed Dave's warning.

"Those are some cool shoes," I managed. Eridan wore very expensive-looking shoes that looked brand spanking new. He looked down and shrugged, flicking his striped scarf behind him.

"Well, I'm heading to class," he announced, glancing pointedly at the hall clock and turning to leave without another word.

"Well Johnny," Vriska said, dramatically flipping her golden hair, "have a nice morning." She smiled toothily and left as well; Dave and I entered the classroom.

"John! You'll love this!" TZ was saying at lunch. She was holding a small box in her hands as she sat down at the table with a flourish.

_Damn, she must really not need a seeing-eye dog._ "What is it?"

"Voila!" She pulled out a smaller box from the one she was holding, and presented it to me with a devilish grin. I took it curiously and removed the lid. Inside was a mound of crystalline powder.

"It's itching powder!" She revealed, obviously trying to keep her voice low. "Let's get Nepeta when she comes!"

"Terezi, you are a hoot!" I laughed, shaking the box around a little. "Do you have a glove or something? We can't get it on ourselves."

"Um…," TZ furrowed her brows. "No. Damnit."

I laughed at her, burying my face in my hands. "Oh well, we'll just dump it on her I guess."

"Shh! Shh!" TZ seized the itching powder and sat down, her head turned towards Vriska and Nepeta as they approached. If she could see, I'm sure she'd have been watching Pet like a hawk.

"Hi there John!" Pet sat down next to me, smiling. Today, she was wearing a blue bandana that strangled her wayward hair with a cat face on it, resembling a blue Hello Kitty. "How are –"

_BOOF!_ Terezi tossed about half of the powder in Nepeta's general direction with the box lid, causing her to sneeze immediately.

"Hey!" She called. Vriska started to cackle.

"Gotchya!" Terezi announced with victory, stashing the itching powder away.

"Oh my god, Terezi!" Nepeta laughed so hard she nearly fell off her seat; she took in quick gulps of air and gripped the table.

"Damn girl, you really got her going," Vriska said to TZ, holding her hand up for a high five. "Gimme five, TZ!" Terezi swatted the air, hitting Vriska in the face.

"Oops!"

"I swear you do that on purpose!"

"Guys, I think I'm having an allergic reaction to this powder!"

My sides throbbed from laughter as I left the lunch room half an hour later, and my left arm itched annoyingly from another good dollop of Terezi's itching powder. Heading down the hall to my sixth class, I passed the quiet kid Vriska was talking about last night, Tavros. He was moseying down the hall with his books in his arms and his head down. His curly faux hawk hung loosely around his eyes.

"Hello," I said, feeling sorry for him and wanting to be friendly. Vriska had said we were alike, so why not? Maybe he just needed someone to talk to him. Tavros looked around uncertainly with caramel eyes and muttered a choked, "Uh, hi", before turning into our algebra classroom. I could swear I saw the glint of a tear in his eye as he walked away to sit down.

The end of the day brought him to me once more as I walked towards the bus to meet Dave. He was carrying a winter coat, three textbooks, a stack of binders, loose papers, and his bookbag, which looked like it was bursting at the seams.

"Hi there, you're sure carrying a lot," I said after rehearsing it to myself. It sounded a lot less dumb in my head.

"Uh, yeah, I'm just… cleaning out my locker," he replied, not looking up from his feet. I noticed he wore a few earrings.

"Do you want some help?" I offered, helping him steady the mound of things he held. He looked up at me then, a question on his lips, but I did not wait for him to say anything before taking the binders and the books from him. "Are you riding a bus or getting picked up?"

"I guess I'll uh, ride my bus today," he said quietly. "I usually walk, but…."

We walked to his bus, and before he got on, I situated the things I held before giving them back to him so they were easier to carry. I said goodbye to him and he thanked me, smiling slightly. Before I turned to leave, I noticed a paper had drifted to the sidewalk. Snatching it up, I meant to ask Tavros if it was his, but the bus's engine gunned and the doors shut as it began to pull away.

_Shit, I'll give it to him tomorrow_. I sprinted to my bus back behind Tavros's and jumped into the seat next to Dave before the doors closed.

"Sup," he said simply, eyes glued to his iPhone.

"Hey." I looked down at the paper I picked up and noticed it was a handwritten note. Curious, I began to read it.

_Father,_

_I can't handle everything that you've burdened me with anymore… I tried to talk to you, but you're never here and you never listen. Nobody appreciates me like Mom used to before she died. The days you decide to come home, you're drunk and you beat me, and I have nowhere else to go, so… _

_Don't worry about school, I've cleaned out my locker already. I gave away most of my belongings to my little cousins. All you have to do is drink and forget I ever used to be alive._

_Bye, Dad._

_I'll tell Mom you said hi._

_Tavros Nitram_


	3. AG: He just got a 8ad 8r8k :::D

**A/N Helloooo crazy interwebs people :D I do plan on updating fairly often, but the number of people who say and the number who actually do that are drastically different numbers. I plan on being a member of both populations. **

**Thanks Maddey for being my beta ;A; you rock. **

**Hopy shit this got HOW many views in two days!? Ok then, greedy homestucks. I will do my best :D Challenge accteped.**

What the hell does somebody even do when they read a letter like that!? Calling the police was definitely _not_ the first thing that crossed my mind, and for the entire bus ride (and the rest of the night) I was silent, shaking, and trying really hard to think about what Nic Cage would do just to make myself lighten up a little. Nanna asked what was wrong when I got home, spacing out in fear, but I waved her off and immediately holed myself up in my room like usual.

Logging into Pesterchum, I noticed Vriska was online again.

ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering arachnidsGrip [AG]

EB: i have kindof a really serious problem…..

AG: Like what?

EB: well so that guy tavros, the quiet one?

AG: Yeeeeeeees?

EB: well, I read this note from him today, and it really made me freak out a little…..

AG: Oh, haha, its okay Johnny :::;D I know what exactly youre saying.

EB: you do?

AG: Its okay to 8e gay, Johnny, no one cares ::::)

EB: …

EB: that is so completely wrong and not what I was going to say in any way

EB: not even in the slightest regard

AG: Wh8t? Well whatever, closet 8oy. What is it then?

EB: hes going to kill himself!

EB: i found the note he dropped and it was really sad and im in serious panic mode right now.

AG: Have you tried talking to him?

EB: are you serious? No!

EB: besides, the bus was already gone.

AG: Damn. Are you S8RE youre not g8y?

EB: oh my gog yes im "S8RE"

EB: thats disgusting

AG: Its not, 8ut whatevs. I wouldnt worry a8out the Tavdork hes too cowardly to really go through with shit like that.

EB: if you say so…..

I leaned back for a moment, laying on my bed. I knew I should really do something… But if Vriska was right, for she knew Tavros better than me, then calling the police would be pretty stupid of me. But then… what if he really did do something like that? I'd feel like a total asshat. I hadn't realized I totally spaced out and dozed off until Pesterchum's alert sound brought me back to reality.

AG: Thats right, I DO say so!

AG: Egderp?

AG: Helloooooooo.

AG: Anyways, dont get so worked up. He will be chill.

AG: See ya tomorrow Johnny Egderp Closet8oy 3

arachnidsGrip [AG] stopped pestering ectoBiologist [EB]

Sighing, I closed the laptop and set it on the bedside table, staring out the dark window. If Tavros didn't have his note, he wouldn't do it anyways, right? That seemed pretty damn logical to me.

"Excuse me, please hand me the blue paint," Eridan said, looking at me expectantly. I had my schedule changed around because somebody fucked up and put me in some god-awful AP Economics class, so instead I was transferred to art. Eridan took the same class, along with his…friends? Were they friends? I couldn't tell most days, but one of them was named Feferi, and she was on the swim team. Sollux, though, didn't seem worth much until you asked him something, because he would _absolutely_ know the answer. Eridan, Feferi, and Sollux bickered worse than alley cats while managing to be considered good friends with each other.

I handed the blue bottle to Eridan, who pushed his large glasses up and smiled in thanks. He glanced beside him, where Sollux sat, and gave his project a criticizing look.

"What's with the look?" Sollux said, lisping heavily.

"Your entire paintin' is just red and blue," Eridan replied, looking as if he had just witnessed a horrible violation against art. "You could at least give it more color and somesuch, like mine." He held up his canvas proudly, displaying an off-kilter, shaky prince holding a scepter.

"So what? Yours just sucks." Sollux fiddled with the dichromatic glasses resting on top of his head as if he just didn't give a fuck anyways. I looked at Eridan's painting, and it was… less than admirable. Sollux sneered, taking the blue paint from a hurt-looking Eridan.

"Feferi, what the _hell_ are you doing?" Eridan was now looking at Feferi, sitting on his opposite side. She was focusing heavily on painting her forearm gray and white. She looked up at Eridan, her green eyes sparkling.

"Look!" She held out her arm and waggled it. "It's a dolphin!" A nicely crafted dolphin swam around on her arm, playing in waves. Eridan buried his face in his hands. "What are you painting, Sollux? It's looks really cool!"

"It's my depiction of the psychotic mind that has been blown to oblivion – the brain matter is shaped into his victim's agony-filled faces," Sollux said matter-of-factly as he held up his canvas for Feferi to see better.

"Oh," she said, her eyes wavering, "that's actually super cool!"

"John, what's yours?" Sollux asked, leaning over.

"Oh, it's a ghost," I replied, showing him the simple, green apparition. "He's looking for a friend." Admittedly, I had based the idea of the painting on Tavros. _My god that is so grim, John. Why would you even do that._ _Because I love ghosts. Stop talking to yourself._

I did not see Tavros at all that day until algebra class, where he was sitting, safe and sound, in his usual seat. Before class started, I stood outside the door, looking at him, wondering if I should say anything to him. Then, a stroke of brilliance hit me. _This kid can't talk straight at people,_ I thought. _He's like me, he'd rather hide behind written words. _I took out the note I still had stuffed in my bookbag. Turning it over, I scribbled a response using the wall before the bell rang.

_Tavros – _

_hi there, I found this note yesterday and it really worried me, but I figured you wouldnt want to talk about it. so thats why Im writing you this letter instead! _

_life hits you hard sometimes, and it seems like you really got the short straw here. i dont want to get all in your personal life, but maybe you should just talk to somebody? if you dont have anyone to talk to, Ill listen. promise! _

_i hope that wasnt too weird for you. like I said, I will definitely listen to you if you want to jam. _

I wasn't sure if I was actually capable of going through with it, but I was – I set it down on his desk quietly, and then walked away to my desk.

At the end of the period, I watched him gather his things and hurry out of the door. I followed right after him, not sure if I actually planned on saying anything. When I walked outside of the class room, Tavros was there, having waited for me outside the door. He looked me in the eyes, blinked, then smiled a little.

And that all before he walked away.

ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

EB: dave!

TG: no way where

EB: hehe. guess what? i think I just saved someones life today.

EB: you know Tavros?

TG: uuh not really but sure

EB: i think I talked him out of suicide how did I even do that?

TG: that is some wicked shit man

TG: savin lives like its your fuckin job

EB: so if you see Tavros around, maybe just say hi? i bet hed appreciate it.

TG: weird but sure

TG: so parties on Saturday

EB: dave, I dont think Im going chap…

TG: i think you are

TG: because

TG: im picking you up

TG: and vriskas comin too

EB: really?

EB: okay I might go.

TG: knew it you are so busted

EB: can it Strider!

TG: well im ollying outie

TG: see you egbert

EB: byee!

turntechGodhead [TG] stopped pestering ectoBiologist [EG]

"It's going to be a very interesting weekend," I muttered to myself, closing my laptop.

**Comments, criticism, and flames are welcome and appreciated ~!**

**`QDae**


	4. TT: damnit dave

**Look at me, updating at four in the morning because I can! Yeah so, I'm not going to say anything about the quality of this chapter... or my spelling at the moment... becauseim so tired rigth now D: **

**Yeah,just got randomly inspired to write inside the Strider household, so I switched the POV. I loooove switching the POV. sorry if you jsut hate that~! xD**

**Dirk's POV**

I woke up Saturday morning groggy, swinging my legs lazily off the side of the bed. I vaguely remembered that tonight my little bro and I were throwing a sick party for our friends in school; freshmen and juniors from all over the fucking state would be showing up to this party.

I hobbled across my room, over the scattered smuppets on the floor, to the bathroom. I cleaned up as little as possible, gelled my hair, and slid my ironic shades before heading downstairs to burn some bacon for Dave. We had a bit of an argument last night, and he would certainly not be very happy with me this morning, so I had to lighten the mood somehow with some Strider antics. The argument started out as playful teasing, but things escalated quickly when Egbert was brought into the conversation.

"So, you've been stayin' up pretty late to talk to this Egbert fella, haven't you?" I had said, smirking. We shared a bowl of popcorn between us, watching some shitty movie Dave picked out, trying to impress me with his irony. The little man still had a long way to go before he reached my status.

"Yeah, what's it to ya," Dave replied flatly, stuffing kernels into his mouth.

"He complimented my shoes when he came over a while ago," I started smugly, knowing exactly how Dave would respond.

"So what?"

"And he fawns over this Nic Cage douchebag every time one of these shitty movies is playing."

"Your point being?" Dave had been getting defensive, just like I predicted.

"That boy is so closet gay I can even _tell_," I announced finally. "He's –"

"_Shut up_," Dave hissed at me, catching my off-guard. He had never been so venomous towards me before. "You have no fucking idea how much shit he's gone through with people calling him that when he was younger. At all." Dave shook his head, shoved the popcorn bowl into my lap, then stood up to walk to his bedroom down the hall.

"Little bro?"

He slammed the door.

But, this morning, I was hoping to start off on a different foot and clarify a few things. I've suspected for a long time that Dave knows that I'm suspecting him of suspecting me of being gay – which is a true thing, but it hadn't come up in conversation before because I know that Dave is very open about his… _supposed_ opinions towards homosexuals. Last night's exchange, however, proved to me that not only does he defend John so harshly because of his "views" but he also because he totally has a thing for him and he hates it. He hates himself for loving someone.

It was almost cute of the little Strider.

I sighed, cranking up the stovetop and ripping into a package of bacon. After getting it sizzling, I went down the hall under the staircase and knocked on Dave's door.

"Morning, sunshine," I called, waiting to hear him roll out of bed. After getting nothing, I eased the door open and walked inside his messy, comic-book laden room. He was not in his bed, but instead slumped over his desk, head resting on his open laptop which was glowing with life. Curious, I looked at what he had fallen asleep doing, expecting one of those dumb Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff comics. It was a chat log from last night.

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB]

TG: sup

EB: hiya Dave!

EB: whats up with you?

TG: eh nothing just reminding you of this bitchin party i swear i mentioned

EB: so many times. i have given in, Strider.

TG: i know no one can resist the strider charm for long

EB: hehe so true.

TG: yup…

EB: something wrong Dave?

TG: what no

TG: why

EB: you never make the dots!

EB: there must be something going on in the enigmatic Strider mind!

TG: nothin man

TG: unbelievable amounts of nothin goin on in my head right now

EB: if youre sure.

EB: shrug.

TG: yeah

TG: so i heard about that sick prank you and tz pulled off at lunch

EB: ahaha yes! that was certainly a legendary endeavour!

EB: is she by chance also showing up to this Strider fest?

TG: nah she cant make it

EB: so you believed her and not me?

TG: yes

EB: thats harsh Dave!

TG: not when i know you have literally nothing else better to do than kick it with your best bro

TG: except picnic with your nannie, if youd prefer

TG: i would totally pretend to understand while i secretly cried

EB: no Dave, literally nothing.

EB: but seriously, what is eating at you?

TG: damnit egbert nothing

TG: top of the food chain here

EB: i can definitely tell something is wrong cmon.

TG: whatever

EB: youre taking like five minutes to respond are you tired? because Ill leave you alone.

TG: nah im fine

EB: whatever you say Strider!

TG: hyujjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjkllllllljjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjlllll ll;';;;;;;;;;;;;'''''

EB: you just fell asleep didnt you?

EB: dave!

EB: daaaaave

EB: haha ok bro see you tomorrow evening I guess.

EB: dream of me!

ectoBiologist [EB] stopped pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

I felt a bit guilty for reading his private messages, but it was his fault – Dave shifted a little, breathing deeply. I put a hand on his shoulder.

"Little bro. Rise and shine, don't slobber allover your internet."

Dave grumbled, raised his head, then came back with a polite, "Fuck you."

"Love you too, now get your punkass up and eat something." I grinned, moving out of his room. I heard him shut his laptop before descending the stairs behind me.

"Last night didn't turn out the way I planned," I said in the kitchen, cutting straight to the chase. "I'm sorry. But I still want to talk about this."

"Well, I don't," Dave said pointedly, grabbing his shades from the kitchen table and plunking them on.

"I just wanted to say, Dave, that I've got your back no matter what team you play for, okay? You should know too that I'm playing for the other team anyways so if you need support one way or another –"

"What_ team_, Dirk?" Dave threw over his shoulder, not looking me in the eyes even through his shades.

"Well, the team that mostly just dicks around and carries the water jug, you know."

"So you're gay." Dave's tone turned so flat it sounded unnatural even for him.

"Honestly, when have you ever seen me bring a girl home? So I was wondering if you'd chill out with the homophobia a little." Damnit, now I'm just sounding like a prick. Damnit, damnit, damnit.

Dave was silent for a while.

"Alright. I can deal with that."

And with that, he exited the kitchen and retreated right back into his bedroom, neglecting the bacon still smoking on the stove.

**Poor bacon :'(**

**`QDae**


	5. TC: MoThErFuCkInG fAbUlOuS o) hOnK

**Ooooh yeah we get a small bit of DirkJake fluff. Honestly its not that exciting, but I promise I will fix that later. Everyon'es about to be drunk. And by everyone, I mean really only two select boys. ;D**

** I honestly cant even wait. **

That evening, the Strider household was converted into a dance floor. Dave stuck his own homemade album into the stereo, blasting music from wall to wall, and the party hadn't even started yet - that is, after he finally made an appearance around five that evening. It wasn't uncommon for him to stay in his room for so long, but it made me worry a bit. I was in kitchen despairing over the empty fridge before I found him in the joined living room.

"Little bro, why don't you go get some wicked nosh from the Mr. Deal's on the corner?" I said to him, tossing a ten dollar bill onto his lap. He was sitting on the couch playing Infamous, leaning towards the screen and tilting the controller in concentration as he blasted Reapers with lightning bolts.

"Mk, gimme a moment," he replied after about thirty full seconds. Pausing, he scooped up the money and headed for the door, a bounce in his step. I knew the little man had been stoked for this party all week

"I'm headin' out real quick for –" _Aaaaand he's gone_. I shrugged, scooped up my black jacket, and headed out the door as well, walking the opposite direction towards Jake English's house. The cold bit just a little with the passing wind, bringing with it the salty taste of the nearby sea. On my way, I saw some greasy looking guy standing on the corner, in a t-shirt despite the chill. I recognized him as Cronus.

"Sup." I tilted my head in greeting.

"Hey, Striderman," Cronus replied, lacing his accent around his words. His eyebrows lifted slightly as he pulled a cigarette swiftly from its package and lit it. "How's the fam?"

"Good. How's your bro doin?"

Cronus lifted his hands in surrender. "I'm telling you for the last time, there is no relation! He just happens to look just as slick, smooth, and sexy as I do. It's not my fault. I think God had an epiphany when he created me and decided he should make more."

_Oh god. This guy is such an awesome prick._

"Cronus, the chances of divine epiphanies occurring within a mile of you are exactly zero, unless they include clauses such as, 'holy shit, I actually give no fucks at all'."

"You are a real charmer, Strider," Cronus replied with soppy eyes. "I'll have you know, my offer still stands."

"Gotchya. See ya greaser." I gave him a two-finger salute before walking away, leaving Cronus to lean against the stop sign alone, smoking his cigarette thoughtfully.

"Dirk, wonderful of you to visit!" Jake exclaimed, pretending to be surprised that I was standing on his front porch. I smiled a little as he spoke. I just have a thing for English accents. "Come in old chap, have a sit." He gestured politely towards his small couch, surrounded by gun displays and old, shitty movies.

"Hey man. Talked to little bro like we planned, but he's still…," I began, but honestly I had no idea what to say next. Being rendered speechless is not in the Strider genetic makeup, so I covered it up with some vague hand gestures that would have worked spectacularly, had I not been talking to Jake.

"Still what?"

I sighed. "Dave is curled up in his closet so far back it would take a week just to reach him on foot. The door's locked and he is in no way ready to leave."

Jake's shoulders sank. "Bullocks. I thought maybe…."

"Chill, man. This party will be the last straw for Strider junior and his derpy love interest."

Jake shrugged, looking up at me with those wicked deep emerald eyes. "And afterwards we can mosey back down to my humble abode and hang out, right?"

"You got it, English," I said, hooking my thumbs into the belt loops of his cargo pants. _Yup, there's those pistols that never leave his sides._ It's a really great thing he finally got his licenses for that noise a few months ago. He sighed, wrapping his arms around my neck and resting his head on my shoulder. His tanned skin seemed so out of place against mine, which was pale as all get out, but I rubbed the small of his back and placed a kiss in his lightly gelled hair.

"English," I said, suddenly hit with a stroke of brilliance, "I'm spiking the punch."

"What punch?"

"You know what I mean. I'm spiking the Faygo."

Jake lifted his head from my shoulder, smirking. "Dirk. This party was supposed to be reasonably clean and legal."

"Yeah well," I shrugged, bringing him closer to me. "I'm fucking shit up."

"Will you never change?" Jake leaned against me, bringing his nose up to mine. I rolled my eyes, but the action was lost under my shades.

"Striders don't do the change thing." Jake smiled, leaning up to kiss me. I held him around the waist for a while before pulling away slowly. "Alright, I'm going to head back and get this party started. You'd better get ready, these two young men aren't gonna make out without plenty of help."

"Spiked Faygo bowl." Jake snorted, tossing his hands up.

"Why were you expecting any different?" With one last quick kiss, I dipped out of Jake's cozy home and headed for mine.

**Dave's POV**

It was like motherfucking Christmas up in there as soon as nine o'clock rolled around and we got the whole block of teens showing up at the Strider establishment. John was the first to arrive, since Bro and I obviously picked him up, then a bunch of random kids from the freshmen class showed up – I told everybody to bring a plus one, so as I observed the living room, I noticed many of the kids I knew from school (most of which I wish had not shown up, including Equius). Equius and Vriska were having a semi-serious discussion about some science fair project. I invited Eridan purely for the irony, who was trying to hit on Sollux even though his not-girlfriend was right there, intervening enviously (she had a smudged dolphin painted on her arm for some reason), and some shitty, infantile loudmouth I don't remember was picking at the wicked nosh I bought earlier.

Nothing crazy was going down, we were all pretty chill with the dancing and hanging out on the stairs (which I warned against, but nobody listens to me about stairs). It was a good time, playing Infamous and Mario Kart with John, but then Bro brought in the Faygo bowl. I think Cronus brought some batshit crazy juggalos or something because them two were on the Faygo like feral religies.

"Hey chill motherfuckers, why don't you slam some of this elixir?"

Oh dear god. Gamzee approached John and I, sitting on the couch, with a cup full of strawberry Faygo waving dangerously in the air.

"Sure, Gamzee!" John stood up, all smiles, as he accepted the cup. He had no idea what he was getting into befriending that guy, but I let him. John downed half the soda, making a thoughtful face. "This is pretty good, actually!"

I laughed, walking to the Faygo bowl to fill a cup for myself.

"So my brother, I hear that you're all fuckin' up from homeschool educations?" Gamzee questioned John, plopping down on the couch.

"Yeah, but I've been adjusting well, I think," John replied. I noticed a bit of a blush on his cheeks, and taking one sip of the shitty soda, I learned why.

_God fucking damnit, Dirk. _

_Why did you spike the Faygo…_

I shook my head, but continued to drink it; entertaining thoughts of Bro's ironic antics and all the times he scolded me for trying to sneak sips of our aunt Roxy's vodka. John also continued to suspect absolutely nothing as he chatted it up with Gamzee and eventually Kurloz, his slightly less maniacal brother.

The bowl eventually emptied without me noticing that John and I were some of the only kids actually drinking that shit. The older ones from Bro's junior class looked on calmly between songs, sipping various other things that were presumably alcoholic, but their lack of shenanigans also went unnoticed by me as I drank.

I had no idea that last cup of fucking Faygo would basically decide my fate for all eternity.

**Ive edited this chapter more times than Poland has been overtaken. Feedback in review form is encouraged~! **

**Comments, critisism, flames are welcome and appreciated~!**

**`QDae**


	6. AT: i'M SO SICK, oF BEING qUIET,

**Whoa, this chapter is definitely the longest. Be prepared for some mild domestic violence and language of course. **

**Dont drink alcohol, children. x3**

**Thanks for the reviews guys, much appreciated~!**

**Be prepared to cry if you're sensitive xD**

**JAKES POV**

I had shown up at the Strider party late that night, planning to help Dirk out with wrapping things up, driving people home, and pulling him away after the mess was cleaned up so that we could spend some quality time together. What I walked into was much less rowdy than I was expecting, though just as cramped and loud. A few kids from my junior class were socializing on the living room floor in a circle, laughing animatedly. One of them, a soft-faced Latino with wild spiky hair, rose from the floor to greet me with a lazy smile.

"Jake!" he called, slapping me on the back.

"Hello, Rufioh," I replied, feeling less alienated now that I had met someone I actually got along with here, "how has your week been?"

"First week of junior year, man," he said, nodding absentmindedly, not making eye contact. "Freakin' awesome."

"Glad to hear it, chap." I held out my hand to shake his before heading deeper into the fray of teenagers looking for Dirk. Someone from across the front room shouted, and I spotted John and Dave arguing over Nic Cage. Grinning, I made my way to the kitchen where I caught sight of the Strider I was looking for. He was sitting on the counter talking to Roxy and Jane, two girls that lived in the same apartment near the school. I joined him on the granite countertop, engaging in pleasant conversation with the ladies. I noticed that Roxy had not been drinking much, thank God almighty, though she was still red in the cheeks and laughing too much. I suppose old habits die hard.

"Hay Englsih - English. How's it been hanging?" Roxy smiled sweetly, waving.

"Right well, milady!" I replied, winking. She sidled up to me, shooting me a mischievous sideways look.

"Tried out those handcuffs I got you yet?" Next to me, Dirk's jaw dropped.

"I hung them up in my car next to my pistol dice!" When I said this, Roxy frowned and Dirk coughed.

"Jake," Dirk said, patting me on the shoulder, "you are too precious."

"Who wants some cake?" Jane asked - I hadn't noticed that she had gone to the food table and brought over plates loaded with cake.

We talked for a while about school, comparing teachers and suchlike, though of course, after a while, I voiced my real concerns to Dirk: "So Strider, how well has this plan been working?" I motioned towards John and Dave on the couch.

"So far, so good, I guess," he replied evenly, looking across the kitchen and into the living room. The boys' cheeks were blotchy, their movements uncoordinated, and their eyes drooping. It seemed that literally the only thing accomplished was getting them drunk, but in no time, they were on the ground battling it out over the last of some Doritos.

"Oh my," I commented. Roxy, Jane, and Dirk were now avidly observing the pair.

"Aw, look at those boys! Ohmigawd they're so adorblable!" Roxy stumbled over her words, squinting in concentration. "Adorble – adorable." She melted into laughter.

"That escalated quickly," Dirk said, smirking. "I always knew my boy was a go-getter."

"What exactly are we trying to do here?" Jane asked Dirk, a look of mild confusion written on her face. "Other than getting them drunk, I mean?"

"That's basically it," Dirk said.

"No," I intervened, ready to re-hash everything Dirk and I had been talking about for a few weeks now. My hands made wild gestures in the air as I spoke, "Dirk and I are positive that John and Dave definitely have feelings for each other, but they can't admit it to themselves, so what we've devised is a plan to get them to finally realize each other and hopefully become –"

"Are you fucking serious?" said someone approaching us four at the counter. "That will never work."

"Oh hey there Karkat," Roxy chipped in, nonchalantly eating her cake.

"Um," I said intelligently, caught off guard by this short little guy with crazy hair and an attitude. "Excuse me?"

"Seriously, if you want a homophobe and a stoic to 'realize each other', you don't get them piss drunk. That is the douchest of all douche moves." Karkat crossed his arms pointedly, observing the pair wrestling on the floor. They were running in to other people, inciting loud expletives and laughter. John knocked over a coffee table. "Do you see my point?"

Dirk slipped down off the counter, replying with, "Nope."

"First off, you have to sit down and have a one-on-one conversation with the homophobe, in this case, John, about his homophobia."

"I didn't know he was homophobic," Jane muttered to no one in particular.

"It's fucking obvious," our advisor snapped at her before turning back to Dirk. "Then you try and subtly make him understand that the reason he thinks that way is _possibly_ because he has the hots for some guy. After that con –"

"Dude, just watch, it'll work like a charm. They'll kiss or something, they'll sober up, and then they'll date." Dirk adjusted his shades. Karkat seemed ready to snap a retort, but then thought better of it and just fiddled with the hem of his gray knit sweater as he watched John and Dave roll around on the floor trying to land sloppy punches on each other. They guffawed each time one of them hit the floor or hit some unfortunate pedestrian, temporarily pausing the fight to brace themselves against the other to laugh.

_Maybe this will work…_

**TAVROS POV**

I don't know why I didn't foresee my plans spinning out of control like they did - yet, there I was, still alive by some twist of fate, curled up in bed at Rufioh's apartment thinking about how terrible a Nitram can be at following through.

I had tried to stay home for the first day of school, but I ended up on the bus anyway – maybe it was my guilty conscious trying to tell me it would be worth it this time, or maybe it was fate. _No, that sounds stupid…._ That day started out a lot worse than I was expecting, mostly because I always get my hopes up for the first day of school, but it was bad even compared to the status quo. The massive numbers of students in the hallways made my anxiety go through the roof; after first period I was already standing by my locker fumbling for my inhaler because I felt weak at the knees and my breathing was coming so fast…. Then of course I had to get a detention from my English teacher Mr. Maryam on the _first day_ because my dad had called me and my cell phone went off.

That's not even mentioning the racist slang, the comments on my appearance, and the jokes about my dad. I try not to think about all that very much, but then the teachers have to bring it up to me, like Mr. Maryam did during my detention.

"Nitram," he had said, fiddling with the paperwork on his desk, "I can't help but overhear what some kids are saying about you're… family situation. Should I be concerned?"

"Uh," I said, feeling my face heat up and my heart quicken. Suddenly, everything was once again in the forefront of my mind. "No."

"Are you certain? Your friends don't seem to be very," he paused, "supportive."

I just nodded, not looking up at him. Tears threatened behind my eyelids – why did this guy have to go and start talking about this? It was hard enough to ignore it every day without adults bringing it up like he was.

"Tavros, you aren't saying much," Mr. Maryam pointed out helpfully. I just sighed. _What do I say? What do you want me to say? How do I get you to stop talking about this?_

Defeated, I just pretended I didn't hear him and continued to doodle in my notebook, which was riddled with aimless scribbling and little holes from my nervousness. Mr. Maryam sighed.

When I got home that day, dad was already home from the bar – he might've not even gone. He might've been waiting for me. I'll never know.

Like every other day, though usually he started at night, he began to point out all of my flaws much like the kids at school did, only in a more disappointed manner.

"Why don't you have a job yet?" His first question. As I opened my mouth up to answer, he interrupted me with more, growing louder and angrier with each one. "What are you, a hobo? Or do you own this place now? Which one, are you better than me or are you just that worthless? Don't you know what bills are_ for?_" He rose from his position on the living room couch, turning off the tv. Anticipating the dodge-ball match he was likely to initiate with the objects of his choice, I quickly fled up the stairs to my room, followed by shouts and curses. I tripped on one, slamming my shoulder into a step before sliding down, banging my knees.

"You can't walk up the fucking steps. You don't have a job. You are just as worthless as your piece-of-shit brother who moved out to go fail out of high school on his own."

I picked myself up, dragging my bookbag up as I made my way to my room. Slamming the door, I finally got up the courage to say something back.

"Rufioh was the only one in this house with any sanity!" I yelled, feeling more confidence with a door keeping me from my dad. He was still at the bottom of the steps thankfully, and seemed to have lost some steam. He quieted down, only talking to himself, and wandered to the kitchen presumably for alcohol.

I didn't break down and sob while writing the suicide note. I didn't take the time to ponder my misfortune or think about those who might miss me. The walls I had put up to deflect those thoughts were strong enough to keep me on my feet, to keep me dry-eyed, as I carefully wrote the words leading up to my self-demise. Only towards the end, when I wrote the word _mom_, did I feel the sting of forbidden tears behind my eyelids. I always knew I was a lazy and cowardly person, so suicide just seemed like the easiest, most logical solution to this mess – more logical than, perhaps, murder, which didn't cross my mind until after the ordeal. I planned on cleaning out my locker so that my dad could just stay home and drink himself to death and Rufioh wouldn't have to handle it, and I made sure to mention to my teachers that I wouldn't be back for a very long time due to family issues – which of course raised questions that I did not answer.

That next day, the day I was supposed to tape the note to the front door of the house, leave my things on the porch, and visit the train tracks, everything suddenly changed.

I knew John's name already, most people did, but that didn't make it any easier to talk to him. I always had trouble talking to other kids, but he was just so _positive_-like that it made me even more nervous. I felt my anxiety raise its ugly head in my chest when he spoke to me, and I tried to ignore him as best as I could….

But somehow, knowing that someone so new and so _bright_ could be so desperate as to actually be friendly to me and still smile like that stuck in my mind for the rest of the day. I decided to just go home, relieved that my dad was not there, and think about it. I was up all night, just mulling over how a single person can contain that much life and not be surrounded by people.

Then he wrote me that note, and my barriers came crumbling down.

It was rather anti-climactic, the way that I broke; I felt like I was melting inside and slipping into a fuzzy gray area of uncertainty and chaos, yet it seemed so subtle, so slow.

And somehow, it seemed right. It gave me a sort of strength to read those kind words, the kind of strength that let me see through my own barriers and realize that those emotions are so utterly useless.

I arrived home that day to my dad and my brother fighting physically on the living room floor. Rufioh was trying to get out from under him, screaming and kicking, while Dad choked him with a forearm. With a burst of anger that I had previously kept carefully contained, I seized my dad around the waist and tossed him across the room, causing him to stumble into the lampstand. Rufioh gasped, holding his throat, while staring at me with widened eyes. I didn't say a word, I just stood there breathing heavily and glaring at Dad. He looked much like Rufioh; shock was plastered on his face.

"_Don't you fucking touch m_ –"

"_Shut up!_" I screamed, not even hearing my own words. "_Just shut up_! Touch my brother again, Dad! I fucking dare you!"

Dad's jaw dropped. Rufioh slowly rose from the floor, approaching me with his hands outstretched.

"Hey bro, come here," he said in a quiet voice. His jacket was askew and his hair was an absolute wreck, but his eyes were kind as always. Shaking, I went to him, feeling his arms wrap around me securely. "It's okay Tav," he said, "I'm here to take you with me."

**Unf, Rufioh, my baby ;A; I love him so much. **

**Omg my feelings right now. **

**TMI, but this last scene here actually happened to me, so maybe thats why I feel these feels?**

**I dunno, I hope that's enough sadstuck for you guys - u -**


	7. TG: omf dirk thye r so cute togther!

**EDIT: this took so long to edit I am so sorry /SHOT**

**Oops I updated. Sorry in advance for the unedited version of this, lel. Also sorry for Dave's manly tears. **

**Also sorry for killing the fluff, AGAIN. I swear that wasn't actually supposed to happen.**

**JOHN'S POV**

I hadn't even realized I was drunk until Dave and I began scrumming on the floor over a bag of Doritos that was already empty. His crimson eyes were swimming and unfocused (I had confiscated his shades earlier and hid them in that English fellow's boot) and I felt as if I were moving through a haze. As the night progressed, I found myself feeling incredibly amused at literally everything, and slowly Dave and I wound down to a gradual stop on the sofa –

I can't even pretend I don't remember all of it. I feel like a disgusting person and terrible friend.

At some point, Dave's bro and his… _friend, _holding hands, came into the living room with the other two ladies to join the group of card players on the floor. Vriska was shouting loudly every now and then in victory, making my head pound. They were talking trash, playfully throwing chips around, and a junior named Meenah began telling grand stories about her run-ins with the gangs in her home state of New York. Dave and I dozed, somewhat close to each other in _alcohol-induced_ intimacy.

"Oh, Vriska," Meenah said, slapping down a card triumphantly. "You would never believe the things I had to do to get out of that shit." Vriska listened to her with concealed interest as she toyed with a handful of blue dice. Meenah continued with a low voice. "Once, I was out at one in the mor—_Mituna!" _

"S-serves you right," Mituna, some lanky dude with a disconcerting twitch said to Meenah with a large, toothy grin as he swept up all of the cards into his hand. He convulsed a few times, holding his head. "_Fuck!_ …Sorry." He ran shaking fingers through his curly mess of black hair.

As I faded in and out of consciousness, I caught glimpses of Dirk politely ushering the group out the door. What time was it? I felt heavy and sore, so I didn't move even when someone gently prodded me in the side. At that point, I had forgotten Dave was sprawled out under me somewhere.

"Oh my god, Dirk!" I heard a lady whispering loudly. "They are so cute!"

"Just leave them," Dirk answered. "I'll be back tomorrow to check on them."

"Oh, I'll stay here with them and watch the house, Mr. Strider!"

Oh wow, who was even talking anymore? All the voices were jumbling inside my head.

"Roxy, I'll leave the door unlocked for you when you come back to the apartment. There will be a nice cake in the oven!"

"Thanks Janey dear!"

"_Bloody hell what is in my boot?!"_

_Ow…_ I slipped back into sleep as my head throbbed ever harder. It felt like only five seconds had passed by when light began to filter through the sticky darkness and force my eyelids open. My head wasn't throbbing anymore, but a sharp headache was creeping around my skull as a taunt.

I decided to move a little after a while. Feeling something warm and solid underneath me, I suddenly shot up into a sitting position, sending a stabbing sensation through my washed-out brain.

"Ow, damnit, what the fuck did you move for…." Dave groaned, shoving his palms into his eye sockets.

"Strider—," I fumbled around for my glasses, pushing them onto my face. "What…what happened last night?" Realizing I was still sitting on him, I flopped around and made it on the floor in front of the couch, swaying slightly. _Oh god what kind of question is that, that is so cliché and definitely not the right thing to ask_. Dave was looking at me now with half-lidded crimson eyes that he was attempting to shield from the unforgiving sun.

"Uh," Dave replied, "I can definitely say that we got _tanked_ last night, for sure." He smoothed out his wild blonde hair, looking around for his shades. "Shit, I need to find my sun block…."

My face got pulsing red when I realized Dave and I had slept all night like that on the couch. I vaguely remembered at one point _snuggling_ him in a way that was… I guess more than platonic. When Dave stumbled to his feet and began to search the entertainment center for his shades and sun block, I crawled back onto the couch to bury my face into a cushion. I heard a door opening down the hall.

"Hi guys! Auntie Roxy is here to make breakfast." Roxy emerged from the hallway, flattening her hair and stifling a yawn. She was wearing pink sweatpants and one of Dirk's ironic pony shirts. "Or I guess…late lunch, at this point."

"Hey Rox…," Dave said, squinting his eyes at her. "You seen my shades?"

Roxy shook her head energetically, approaching the couch and plopping down next to me. Her subtle makeup still managed to look perfect even after sleeping. She patted my shoulder before swiping the glasses off my face and cleaning the lenses with the hem of her shirt. Plunking them back onto my nose, she looked at me with a concerned smile.

"How are you feelin', babe?" She snatched the throw off the back of the couch and tossed it onto my legs. I curled up under its warmth, avoiding Roxy's gaze.

"Like a train wreck," I replied.

"I'll second that," Dave inserted from the other side of the living room. He had found his shades in a flower pot near the door.

"Well," Roxy continued, "I have to apologize for all that last night. For Dirk, I mean, none of that was my fault." She grinned, beckoning Dave to come sit with us. He shrugged, sitting on the other side of me. "_But_," she let the word hang in the air as she deviously stared us down, twiddling her thumbs. I couldn't tell if she was concerned for our health or if she was hatching some diabolical plan. With the Lalondes, though, it could go both ways—my "cousin" Rose always had some sort of no good to get up to under the guise of brilliant ideas. We weren't really related (Dave and Rose were _actual_ cousins), but we had known each other since birth. It's a wonder Roxy and I weren't closer than barely knowing each other's ages.

"But?" Dave inquired, leaning forwards a bit.

"Dirk spiked the punch – the Faygo – because he wanted to get a little truth out of you two. About your feelings for each other."

Dave looked away immediately, covering up the action with a fake cough. I furrowed my brow, glancing between Roxy and Dave with jumbled questions. What kind of feelings? Certainly she wasn't implying _that…_.

"Uh," Dave said, "what?"

"Dirk has been suspecting for a long time," Roxy said, absentmindedly twirling her hair, "and I have too, that you two have some… chemistry goin' on."

"Dave is my best friend," I finally said, feeling like this was going a bit too far. "I don't know what kind of sick thing you're implying but…but…." I fumbled, trying to adjust the blanket over my legs into a more comfortable arrangement. "I'm not _gay_ or whatever." I flung the blanket off in defeat, standing on unsteady legs. _Where is my jacket…_

"John, dear, just sit down," Roxy gently grabbed my arm and guided me back onto the couch with a stern gaze. "Dave? Any thoughts?" Roxy smiled at him, widening her pinkish eyes. The bright sun didn't seem to affect her as much as Dave since her albinism wasn't so pronounced.

"Uh, no," Dave replied quickly, shaking his head. I had known Dave long enough to know that under his un-changing features and those shades, he was nervous and shaken. Roxy reached over me and patted his head affectionately.

"I know you, cuz," she said, standing up. "Alright boys. Let's put the conversation on hold and fry up some eggs."

_Oh good lord finally,_ I thought. Not only was that getting seriously awkward, but my stomach finally decided to begin eating itself. Dave stayed on the couch when Roxy and I headed into the kitchen. I looked over my shoulder at him, but he had his head in his arms, rocking back and forth slowly. He must've had a worse headache than I did.

A few burnt eggs and flaming napkins later, Roxy had set out on the kitchen table three plates of breakfast. She wiped her forehead, laughing nervously and nursing a blister on the back of her hand. I sat down in a chair at the fine oak table (easily the most expensive item in the Strider home) and picked up my fork.

"Why don't you go get Dave while I clean up?" Roxy asked, smoothing wrinkles out of the shirt she was wearing.

"Okay. And thanks Roxy," I said. "You made some serious sacrifices for this breakfast!" Roxy chuckled and I headed out into the living room to find that Dave was no longer sitting on the sofa. Curious, I headed down the hallway to find that he was not in the bathroom either, but the door to his room upstairs was suspiciously closed. Trying to ascend quietly, I knocked on the door with hesitant knuckles. From inside, I heard Dave shuffle before he opened up the door and peered out.

"Roxy made breakfast," I said, avoiding Dave's gaze.

"It's three o'clock," Dave replied hoarsely. I noticed that his nose was rather red and that his cheeks looked smeared with wetness.

"Alright, so she made lunch. Are you… were you crying?"

"I'm not hungry," he said quickly, closing the door. I stood out in the hall dumbfounded, not sure of what I should do.

"Dave…," I muttered. _I know that whole situation earlier was compromising, but… _Thinking about it again made my stomach churn in an odd way. _God, he must really be repulsed by me. He must really hate me. _I sighed, heading back down the stairs and into the kitchen, plopping down into my chair. Roxy looked up from the counter she was wiping down and raised an eyebrow. I frowned at her, trying to tell her that Dave was avoiding me at the moment. She seemed to understand, and she swept up Dave's plate and stuck it into the microwave for him. I ate slowly, thinking of all the things he might be saying about me at school on Monday… I just wanted to crawl into a dark place somewhere so that no one would know what kind of embarrassment I had suffered.

It's what I had imagined public school would be like – embarrassing. People would start talking, spreading information, then before long, I would wind up being bullied until I graduated. If I graduated.

Why would Dirk set something up like this? He really thought there was _something_ going on? I sighed. Dave and I had been friends for years – since preschool. We went to some charity dance together, maybe two years ago, _as friends_. I know there are several instances where I stayed over at the Strider home because Dad and Nanna were arguing and I had cried on Dave's shoulder. We went to a movie together after a game night once and we skipped our classes that day because _my Dad had died,_ not because we were on a _date._

None of that meant anything romantic.

Roxy drove me home after I rinsed my plate off and little else was said between us. I greeted Nanna, told her I already ate, and then buried myself in my blankets with my laptop, trying not to think about Dave's dried tears.

***cue soap opera music***


End file.
